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The image of the ideal woman in America during the mid-19th century and the societal pressures that enforced traditional gender roles. The essay discusses how women were expected to prioritize their homes and families, with religion being a key component of their identity. The document also touches upon the experiences of enslaved women and working-class women who were unable to conform to these ideals. Furthermore, it highlights the emergence of activist networks and social reform organizations that challenged the norms of true womanhood.
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By: Laurie Bonventre
Presented to the American Culture Faculty at the University of Michigan - Flint in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Liberal Studies in American Culture
July 2005
First Reader
Second Reader
Women of the mid-nineteenth century found themselves in a
unique position brought on by changing social and economic
structures. Technological advances and changes created opportunities
for men to work outside of the home, earning enough money to
support their families without assistance from their wives. This led to
a push for women to stay in the home, as exemplars of four very
important qualities: piety, purity, submissiveness and domesticity.
These qualities were extolled through magazines and other writings of
the tim e. There were voices speaking up against this new ideal, but it
lasted intact until the advent of the Civil W ar when it began to change
because of circumstances beyond the control of average Americans.
In some form, however, some of the ideals are still encouraged even
now.
"Welcome home, dear! Can I get you something to drink or
would you like your pipe? How was your day?"
Settling down into his comfortable leather armchair, the weary
husband replies, "Thanks, honey. A nice dry martini would be lovely.
I am worn out. We had three office meetings this morning and I met
with two new clients after lunch. How are the kids?"
"They are great. Junior got two hits at his baseball game this
afternoon and little Sarah made a finger painting during our craft time
this morning. She says it is a picture of the pony you promised to buy
her for her next birthday." Laughing she continues, "I'm not sure that
we'll be able to find the one she wants, though. The one in her picture
was pink, had a lavender mane and had one horn made out of mother-
of-pearl."
After chuckling good-naturedly, Sarah's fond father says, "That
little minx. What's for dinner?"
"I made your favorite! Beef Wellington with glazed carrots and
my special mashed potatoes. We have cheesecake for dessert!"
"That sounds lovely. Are the kids in bed?"
"They were just exhausted and went to bed about a half an hour
ago. I promised them that I would send you in to kiss them
goodnight."
"All right. Well, I am famished. Shall we eat?"
"I'll have it on the table in no time. You just relax over there
and I'll get everything ready for you."
After sharing smiles, the couple settles down to a nice dinner
and calm evening at home, the husband relaxed in his castle and his
wife happy in her roles as caregiver and nurturer. Of course, her hair
is perfectly styled and her makeup is flawless. As she brings her
husband his after-dinner drink and dressing gown, she is careful to
ensure his absolute comfort. Her job is, after all, to ensure that her
husband, children and home are well cared for and immaculate.
The picture of the young housewife wearing her pearls and
cashmere sweater while cleaning or preparing dinner is an ideal that
one might imagine has permeated American society for ages. Though
it may seem as though it began in the 1950s, this image of the ideal
woman as one who stayed in the home taking care of her husband and
family dates back as far as the beginning of new world settlement.
In the beginning of the 19th century, America was changing at a
faster pace than it ever had before. The population was growing
quickly and the physical landscape of the country had more than
doubled with Thomas Jefferson's Louisiana Purchase of 1803. The
advent of the industrial revolution was also creating many new jobs
and opportunities for American families. For a country less than fifty
years old, these swift changes brought instability and uncertainty.
American society had to find balance and a center upon which to base
itself. One center was found in the roles women played in the lives of
their families. A modified ideal of true womanhood developed as a
response to a rapidly growing population, expanding frontiers and
industrial developments and the effects they all had on society and the
family.
The population exploded during the first haif of the 19th century.
As the inset table snows, the census of 1820 reported an aggregate
population of 1 0 ,0 8 6 ,0 1 5 (ICPSR 2). By the census of 1850, the
aggregated population had more than doubled to 2 3 ,0 5 4 ,1 5 2 (ICPSR
2). With such rapid growth in population size, established structures
like government bodies and industries had to adapt and expand to fit
the growing needs of the citizenry. Small businesses began to develop
to m eet the requirements of the newly prosperous middle class and
organizations like social and leisure clubs expanded to include new
members.
1820 4,060.379 3,917,920 10,086,
183C 5,481,675 5,311,228 12,785,
184C 7,417.640 7,119,240^ 17,018, 185C 10,166,440 9,687,112 23,054,
Data from Tnter-Umversity Consortium for Political and Social Research, Study 00003: Historical Demographic, Economic, and Social Data: U.S., 1 790-19/0.
Growing industries brought many new jobs which meant that
men no longer had the time or the need to produce many of the things
their families consumed. Since families still used the same goods like
food and clothing, new businesses which included factories, retail
stores and grocers began to develop with the sole purpose of providing
these things. Though there had always been a m arket for them , it had
their standard of living, health and fam ily status.
The change was not only restricted to population size and
economic opportunity. The country was growing very quickly
geographically, as well. The Louisiana Purchase of 1803 more than
doubled the country's size and provided vast new frontiers for the
booming population to explore. There was more land for growth of
both farming and industry. Purchased from Napoleon Bonaparte,
Emperor of France, for about fifteen million dollars, the land cost only
a few cents per acre. The new frontier suggested that opportunity was
unlimited.
As men went into the working world and became better able to
earn enough money to support their families, the families no longer
needed to make as many of the items they needed in order to survive.
As a result, some traditional gender roles were altered or became
unnecessary. Women, who had often formed cottage industries and
traded services like cloth-making and sewing with their neighbors,
were told that they no longer needed to do so.
Some women continued to work, however, as women that were
not living in middle-class families with comfortable homes and
gainfully employed husbands had no other choice but to work outside
1 There is very little documentation to clearly define all o f the roles women were expected to fill. However, there is evidence that they often took part in home industry. For example, when women needed to make fabric, one member o f a group would card wool, the next would spin thread and the last would weave the cloth. A ll o f the women received part o f the finished product as payment for their labors (Collins 70-80).
of the home. Although "the urban female labor force included self-
supporting wom en-those who had to work to survive, prostitutes,
vagabonds, and widows" and had included them from the beginning of
colonization, they were not visible as a social group, and were not
distinct in their own right. In the larger cities, women in the working
world were, for the most part, considered to be beyond the pale of
polite middle-class society as they were usually of poor, African-
American or immigrant descent (Weiner 14).
In smaller communities, thousands of white rural women were
able to work, at least on a temporary basis. But unlike the urban
poor, such workers retained a "domestic ideology." These young
women lived in paternalistic structures as either servants in family
homes or in the "pseudo-homes" of boarding houses and mill owned
dormitories (Robinson 4 8 ). Some women lived as domestic assistants
to the ladies of the house for the years between their educations and
their marriages. These women were often seen as surrogate
daughters and used the time spent in employment as a time of
training for the lives they would lead after they married and obtained
families of their own. Social order could be maintained through this
association with a fam ily-like living situation (Weiner 14).
That would change, however, as immigration increased during
the middle of the nineteenth century, and working women found more
competition for the jobs in their communities and the jobs that were
families' comfort and peace. There was no length too great for them
to go if it would better serve their husband and children. Any outside
interests were to be sublimated in deference to home and family. If a
woman became distracted by any activity outside of the home,
whether educational, or otherwise, she was damaging her family.
One early edition of Godey's Lady's Book, known at the tim e as
Ladies Magazine and Literary Gazette illustrates well the jobs assigned
to women. One of the magazine's readers wrote in to the magazine to
ask for advice on how to best influence her husband in positive ways.
Sarah Josepha Hale, editor of the magazine, published one of her own
poems to answer this question.
TO THIRZA
The stars o'er heaven are burning bright, And from her urn, of purest light, The moon pours down, on vale and height, Such living beams, That, Thirza, 'tis a glorious night For poet's dreams!
But truth, for once, shall guide my muse, And that sweet silvery theme we'll choose, Which, like the gently dropping dews On summ er flower, Comes o'er the heart, till few refuse Its spell of power.
Luna! thou hast been deemed divine, And now thy beams divinely shine, Yet tem pt they not one wish of mine Abroad to roam, Fool must I be, could I repine, So rich at home.
Yes, rich, but not from India's spoils, Nor yet from Slavery's bleeding toils- Mine is the wealth that care beguiles, Affection's tone, And friendship's soft benignant smiles, These are mine own.
Folly the happy home may spurn, And from its kind endearments turn, and Fashion's glittering trophies earn, And gaily shine; But virtue there will lessons learn, And truths divine.
"Creation's Lord"-his lofty name, Man rides the wave and rules the flame; The sage's patriot's hero's fame Is his alone- Woman may dearer empire claim, The heart her throne.
There she will reign-Man cannot fly The sceptre of her sympathy, He turns to her gentle eye, In joys or cares- His earliest smile, his latest sigh She soothes, or shares.
While men the world's proud places roam, Some search for gold, for glory some; But doubt, disgust, and darkness come And hope would cease, Did they not hail the star of home, That guides to peace.
Then in that Home their all of bliss, That's worth the name of happiness, Will dwell-if faith and friendship kiss, In holy mood; But these are joys the bad must miss, And oft the good:
Yes, oft the good -for nice the part, To strike the chords that thrill the heart; Yet let no jarring passion start
But not the superficial mind, Can pure, domestic pleasures find- When studies, as the hearts, are joined, And calm as even, Thought from each bosom flows refined- Then Home is heaven!
Yet naught so difficult to hit, As the just mean of woman's wit- if shining in proportions fit, Of sense and grace, From Mind's eternal Fountain lit, The world to bless.-
'Tis pleasant as the gales of spring, That waft no cloud of shadowing, But life, and joy, and beauty bring, And mould and warm, While music wakes, and odors fling Their holy charm.
But step not nature o'er-the state That she assign'd us, cultivate; Nor "Rights of W om en," vindicate With logic art- Our empire's surest, longest date Lives in the heart.
Bewildered in the subtle schools, Some master-spirit's simple tools, And not more infidels than fools, Men sometimes dare, To spurn religion's sacred rules, With heaven to war.
But woman-no, it cannot be That she will scoff at piety! From such, even Atheist men would flee- For they would trust To her for love and constancy, Who worshipped "dust!"
Perhaps you are his angel, sent To woo him kindly to repent!
Still use no holy argument To prove each fact; But let him rather yield assent As his own act.
Even should he slight your faith, most dear, Nor aught that's high and holy fear; The mild reproof, the tender tear May yet prevail; A sigh will sometimes win the ear, When sermons fail.
O, knew our sex their m oral power , And would they use that heavenly dower, How short were crime's triumphant hour Or boast of guilt! The forfeiture of Eden's bower Would scarce be felt.
But Luna's beams no more descend, And my dilated song must end- Blest if it teach thee how to blend That charm of life, The mistress gay, the improving friend, The faithful wife.
Hale made little attem pt at subtlety in her poem, adding italics
to emphasize the points she believed were the most significant.
Women of the middle class were to find their joy and fulfillment in the
home where they were all-im portant to their families. They provided
religious guidance and provided for all of their family's physical needs,
as well. This had become even more important in a society dealing
with massive changes at a rapid pace. Society needed a stable base
to rest upon and saw women as the key to maintaining that base. The
pressure that it began to place upon women was strong and extended
to many areas of life, including economic and social.
The rapidly changing social and economic situations in America
brought altered role assignments for many women but those roles
would have been meaningless if they had not been communicated to
the women that were affected by them. The first step in
communicating the new ideal was to inform women of the traits that it
embodied. According to Barbara W elter, an American History scholar
from the City University of New York, there were four major parts of
this new ideal of womanhood. They consisted of piety or religiosity,
purity, submissiveness and domesticity (W elter 152). "Put them all
together and they spelled mother, daughter, sister, wife-woman"
(W elter 153). These characteristics, which were thought necessary for
all "good and proper wom en," laid the groundwork for a growing group
of middle class women and their families, giving a much desired
stability during otherwise turbulent, quickly changing times (Lavendar
1). These vital qualities were then communicated to women through
magazine articles and editorials as well as in the serialized novels
found in popular magazines.
Religion, or piety, was considered to be the source of strength
for women, the "core of woman's virtue" (W elter 152). Considered to
be a gift from God to women, religion was hers by divine right. Men
were strongly encouraged to choose a pious woman for if she were
that, all other desirable qualities were bound to follow (W elter 152).
Women were warned not to let literary interests or intellectual pursuits
take them away from God and their relationship with Him (W elter
154).
Sarah Josepha Hale an editor at Godey's Lady's Book "spoke
darkly of those who, like Margaret Fuller2, threw away the 'One True
Book' for others, open to error" (W elter 154). She used stories about
women who had done so as "proof that 'the greater the intellectual
force, the greater and more fatal the errors into which women fall who
wander from the Rock of Salvation'" (W elter 154). Religion was "a
salve for a potentially restless mind, an occupation within woman's
proper sphere - the home" (Lavendar 1).
2 Fuller claimed that she had known from childhood that she was not “‘bom to the common womanly lot,’ and she spent her life exploring the territory beyond that ‘lot’” (Mitchell 1). Eventually, Fuller became a leader in transcendentalist circles, a Goethe scholar, the first editor of The Dial, a literary magazine and literary critic (Mitchell 2). She presented her arguments for the rights of women in a witty style that startled her readers and left them unsure as to how to classify her (Von Mehren 3). She said she loved being a woman but was stifled by the limitations that came along with womanhood (Von Mehren 4). Her independence and steadfast determination to follow her own path kept her enmeshed in scandal and gossip for all of her life. She went on to publish several works arguing for women’s rights including Woman in the Nineteenth Century.
