SHADOW WORK EXERCISES
EXERCISE #1:
Write down five negative traits for each of your parents/caretaker or the people who raised you.
Notice which ones you really can’t stand.
Then write down five positive traits for each of your parents/caretaker or the people who raised
you. Notice which ones you really admire.
Answer:
How do these 10 traits live in you?
How do you exhibit them or what’s your version of them?
How do these 10 traits show up in your life?
EXERCISE #2 (from Debbie Ford):
For one week, observe your own judgments about other people. Whenever you’re upset by
another person’s behavior, notice the quality in him or her that is most upsetting to you. Write
down any opinions you have of the people who are closest to you. Be sure to include your
friends, family, and co-workers.
Make a list of advice you give to other people. What are you telling others to do to make their
life better? Reflect on whether the advice you give to others isn’t just advice to yourself.
Sometimes we tell other people what to do as a way of reminding ourselves of what WE need
to do. Realize that your advice to them may be a way to remind yourself.
EXERCISE #3:
Think of two different people who drive you crazy or who you don’t really like. For each person,
write down at least three of their traits/qualities that annoy you or make you cringe. Now of
these qualities you’ve listed, which ones feel the worst to you? What qualities would horrify you
if they were written about you on social media or in a newspaper?
Now, think of two different people you admire. For each, write down three traits that you
admire. From these traits, which ones feel like, while you admire them, you could never be.
Which make you smile? Which ones would you like to have said about you at your 90th birthday
party?
This will give you insight into your Shadow traits – both dark and light shadow.
