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Aida Gonzales ENGL 110 February 8, 2020 Sex without love and Sonnet XXIII For many years, poetry helped us to express those feelings that we do not know how to put in words. We can feel identified, or even support by those poems that feel to be written personally for us. Especially, when they talk about those situations that we experiencing in life, such as heartbreak, sex, love, and grief of every kind that life puts in front of us. For me, sex and love are interesting topics because when we grow up everybody explains to us what is sex, but nobody explains to us what is love. It supposed to be the same thing or not, one thing leads to the other one or love is just what we see in movies. Therefore, I decided to analyze “Sonnet XXIII” by William Shakespeare and “Sex without love” by Sharon Olds, to compare sex and love. The first one talks about the inability to express the love that he feels to his lovely lady, his feelings are real, but he is unable to express them. On the other hand, the second poem talks about the emptiness of love, admiration of those who know how to separate pleasure from love. The first poem “Sonnet XXIII” is part of the 154 sonnets that were first published all together in a quarto in 1609 by William Shakespeare. He expresses his inability to communicate his feelings with his lovely one. William Shakespeare begins, “As an unperfect actor on the stage/Who with his fear is put beside his part” (1-2). He uses a simile to compare his fear, like an actor who forgets his part. We can assume that he was feeling nervous and fearful to express his emotions. As if he was ready to say something, but he forgets what was that he wants to say. William Shakespeare exclaims “So I, for fear of trust, forget to say/The perfect ceremony of
love's rite” (5-6). At the beginning of the poem, we already knew that he was afraid to express his sentiments. With these lines, we can be sure that he was feeling fear of the “love’s rite”. The word rite means a religious or other solemn ceremony or act. He is talking about love, so he is referring to the acts that we do when we are in love. For instance, make love, worry about the other one, support each other, etc. At the same time, William Shakespear argues: O! let my looks be then the eloquence And dumb presagers of my speaking breast, Who plead for love, and look for recompense, More than that tongue that more hath more expressed (9-12) It seems like he gave up on trying to say to her his sentiments. He affirms that to look at his sight, she can see his feelings. Using the common idea that when we are in love, we see differently our loved ones, that in fact that idea has been proved to be true. According to the studies, that happens because oxytocin and dopamine affect pupil size. Our brains get a boost from these chemicals when we’re sexually or romantically attracted to someone. It does not matter that he is unable to express it in words. This is the real proof of his feelings, there is no way to lie about them. He uses different metaphors such as “my speaking breast” to remark that he is feeling love, but he is unable to transform those into words. We can identify a figure related to the metaphor that is personification when he says that his breast is pleading for love, and look for recompense. After that, William Shakespeare express and finishes, “O! learn to read what silent love hath writ/To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit” (13-14). With an alliteration at the end of both lines with the words writ and wit. With a metaphor, he finishes the poem with brilliant lines that confirms his inability to speak a word.
about how someone can share the beautiful act of sex, and finish without loving the one who finishes with you. It becomes interesting the last lines of the poem when Sharon olds argue: “the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, they are like great runners: they know they are alone with the road surface, the cold, the wind, the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio- vascular health--just factors, like the partner in the bed, and not the truth, which is the single body alone in the universe against its own best time.” (14-24) It becomes that instead of judging people who have sex without love, it turns out a kind of admiration about those who can do it. She expresses that they are the real pros, so we can assume that for her it is not easy to have sex without fall in love. It is a psychological fact that good sex connects people. In order of that, it is common to fall in love after having sex many times. To conclude, love and sex could be separated, if we are aware of what both means. William Shakespeare expresses his inability to express his love, as a wave that came to him without the chance of escape. Probably, that’s the true proof that he is in love, that’s how love feels. It is not only love what we feel, love involves fear, encouragement, and nervous. On the other hand, Sharon Olds leads me to ask if love is something easy to feel that should be a requirement to
have sex. Or if love is so hard to find that should be almost illegal for those who are losing their time making love. But it turns out that those people who are enjoying their pleasure are the real pros in life. Those poems were helpful to understand the difference between sex and love, and how we tend to understand each of one these.
