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Overcoming Stereotypes: A Service Learning Experience with Battered Women, Papers of Psychology

This paper describes a student's experience and learning journey during a service learning project focused on women who have experienced domestic abuse. The author shares her initial biases and stereotypes towards battered women and perpetrators, and how her perspectives were challenged through the project. Insights into the prevalence of domestic violence, its impact on children, and the reasons why women may stay in abusive relationships.

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Pre 2010

Uploaded on 08/19/2009

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Service Learning Paper
April 24, 2006
Psychology 1010
I chose to do my service learning project on women who are beaten and abused in
some way. I was fairly biased against them because I always thought that as soon as a
woman finds out that her husband is willing to beat her, she should leave him. I assumed
that there were no exceptions and that the women who did decide to stay with the
perpetrator really should have known better. I never felt like I blamed the woman for
letting it happen, but I did feel like she should have put an end to it as before it could
happen a second time. I saw absolutely no reason to stay with an abusive person. I have
learned a lot about how these things actually work and how they affect the children in
these types of relationships.
There are many reasons why I formed prejudices against battered women. Now, I
don’t want you to think that I have always thought that they were stupid, but I did think
that they should change their lives. One of the reasons I had these stereotypical ideas is
because I inherited them from my parents. We used to watch movies about women who
were battered. My mother would always tell us that if we were in a relationship like that,
we should get out as soon as possible. She always told us that there is no reason to stay
with the perpetrator. The out-group bias taught me that these women were all the same.
Each of their lives could be better if only they would end the relationship with the
perpetrator. At least, that is what I thought. The perception that I had formed of these
women is that they were all too caught up in loving someone who didn’t really love them
to see that they could have a better life without this person. I guess that you could call
that part of my person perception of each of them. I had also stereotyped all of the
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Service Learning Paper April 24, 2006 Psychology 1010 I chose to do my service learning project on women who are beaten and abused in some way. I was fairly biased against them because I always thought that as soon as a woman finds out that her husband is willing to beat her, she should leave him. I assumed that there were no exceptions and that the women who did decide to stay with the perpetrator really should have known better. I never felt like I blamed the woman for letting it happen, but I did feel like she should have put an end to it as before it could happen a second time. I saw absolutely no reason to stay with an abusive person. I have learned a lot about how these things actually work and how they affect the children in these types of relationships. There are many reasons why I formed prejudices against battered women. Now, I don’t want you to think that I have always thought that they were stupid, but I did think that they should change their lives. One of the reasons I had these stereotypical ideas is because I inherited them from my parents. We used to watch movies about women who were battered. My mother would always tell us that if we were in a relationship like that, we should get out as soon as possible. She always told us that there is no reason to stay with the perpetrator. The out-group bias taught me that these women were all the same. Each of their lives could be better if only they would end the relationship with the perpetrator. At least, that is what I thought. The perception that I had formed of these women is that they were all too caught up in loving someone who didn’t really love them to see that they could have a better life without this person. I guess that you could call that part of my person perception of each of them. I had also stereotyped all of the

perpetrators as lower class rednecks. Drunks that liked to come home and hit their families. I always thought that none of them wanted to change. I assumed that they would convince their significant other that they were trying to change, all the while, waiting for the opportunity to beat them again. I was probably even guilty of the fundamental attribution error, blaming the victim. I don’t doubt that I blamed them for getting into situations where they could be beaten. I wasn’t very well informed about any of this. As I grew older, these prejudices and stereotypes were confirmed to me. I watched more movies in which almost all of the things I have mentioned were present. I also heard about court cases where the woman would be filing against the man but she still had all of the problems that I thought that the victims usually had. I used the confirmation bias quite often. I would bet that none of these women had all of the characteristics that I have mentioned, but I ignored the differences and emphasized the evidence of the beliefs that I already had. My mom continued to tell us that if we were ever in a relationship like that, that we should get out. Therefore, I assumed that it was common knowledge and that these people should know better as well. I think that is one of the main reasons why these beliefs stuck with me throughout the years. I looked for the things that supported what I had already learned. I even had decided that they were all the same. I used the out-group homogeneity effect to say that they weren’t like me and therefore, I believed that they were all the same. I don’t really know of specific areas of my life that have been affected by these stereotypical beliefs. I’ve never really had friends that were lower class “rednecks”. Maybe that is one of the ways that I have been affected by them. I’ve never tried to

for their situation. I think that this practice is grotesque. I believe that if everyone were to sit down and think about the fact that they are blaming the victim for his/her situation we would realize that this is not right. The victim is not at fault here and it appalls me that I used to blame him/her for what had happened. Once I realized that I was blaming the victim, I felt a lot of cognitive dissonance and wanted to resolve these feelings as fast as I could. I couldn’t believe that I had ever held the beliefs that I did. When I contacted the Canyon Creek Women’s Crisis Center, I learned that they were having a training for volunteers the following week. I was fairly excited about this because it meant that I had found a way to serve so that I could write this paper. I went to ten hours of training over three weeks. I couldn’t believe some of the things I learned. I think that I have lived a very sheltered life. I didn’t think that it was possible that so many people were beaten a year. I assumed that most women leave the relationship the first time that an instance of abuse occurs. I was so wrong. I thought that especially here in Utah, there wouldn’t be much of a problem. But again, I was wrong. I learned that repeated beatings occur in 10-20% of all marriages and that at least one incident occurs in 50% of all marriages. Utah placed 13th^ in the nation for highest amount of rapes and sexual assaults in 2003. One in fourteen women in Utah report that their children have seen physical abuse occur between the parents. I just had a hard time believing these statistics. They are far too common for common people to want to believe. It means that it could happen to us or to someone close to us. I learned that a woman who leaves her spouse after an instance of domestic violence, will return to him, on average, eight times before actually leaving him for good. Some of these facts just blew me away.

After I underwent the training, they allowed me to begin to volunteer down at the shelter. I had to go through a background check in order to prove to them that I am not a threat to these women that have gone through so much. One of the main things that I have been able to do is help out on Wednesday nights for a couple of hours. They have a group meeting every week. The best way that I can describe it is that it’s like and AA meeting for battered women. I have never been able to sit in and listen to one of these meetings, but that is what I assume happens. During this meeting I get to play with the kids and do little crafts and activities with them. It is a lot of fun. There are, however, times when you notice things about these children that indicate that they have been through horrific events. Some of them show signs of becoming batterers when they grow up. It is the only thing that they have ever known. It is very common for someone who grew up in a battering home, to become a batterer. We try to help them see that this behavior is wrong by reinforcing the good behavior or putting them in time out as a negative punishment for the bad things that they do. We are trying to condition the children to know that the can have fun, normal lives without the presence of these types of abuse. I have learned a lot from this experience. I have already mentioned many of the stereotypes that have been changed. I figured that good Mormon people wouldn’t take part in this kind of behavior, but it does happen. These women do have reasons to stay with the perpetrator. I may not agree with these reasons, but I can honestly say that I understand some of them. I have learned that most of these women grew up in homes where abuse occurred. It is all that they have ever known and expect it to be a part of their relationship. They find it hard to believe that it is not present in every marriage, that