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OET writing correction, Essays (university) of Gastroenterology

OET writing correction for medicine

Typology: Essays (university)

2019/2020

Uploaded on 06/22/2020

ali-raza-javed-akhtar
ali-raza-javed-akhtar 🇬🇧

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General Practitioner
Glenfield Family Medical Practice
12 Trafalgar Street
Glenfield
NSW 2167
10.05.19
Dear Colleague,
Re: Ling Wu, DOB: 01/03/2001
Your patient, Ling Wu, is ready to be discharged today from our Trauma wWard following a
cycling accident. Due to the severity of this event, she will require further management.
On 08/04/2019, Miss Ling was brought to the A&E Department. She was diagnosed with an
open tibial-fibular fracture with near amputation and multiple contusions. On examination, she
had tachycardia (140 bpm), hypertension (178/90mmhg) and hyperventilation (28/m). Her GSC
was 15 and a CT Scan of the head showed nothing relevant. An Aabove-Kknee amputation was
performed on the same day.
The Ppatient’s recovery in the hospital has been uneventful except for phantom limb pain and
psychological distress. The wound has almost healed and the pain has decreased.
Miss Ling has started ambulating with the help of a rolling walker for short distances. Her
parents are supportive and will help with her ADLs after discharge.
Her current medications include Neurontin 100 mg q8 h, Paracetamol Osteo 665 mg q8 h prn,
Tramadol 100 mg nocte and Amitriptyline 100 mg tds.
A review at the Trauma Clinic on 17/05/2019 has been arranged programmed.
I would greatly appreciate it if you could monitor Miss Ling for signs of PTSD and arrange for a
trauma focused CBT programme if required.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any additional information.
Yours Ssincerely,
Orthopedic Surgeon
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General Practitioner Glenfield Family Medical Practice 12 Trafalgar Street Glenfield NSW 2167 10.05. Dear Colleague, Re: Ling Wu, DOB: 01/03/ Your patient, Ling Wu, is ready to be discharged today from our Trauma wWard following a cycling accident. Due to the severity of this event, she will require further management. On 08/04/2019, Miss Ling was brought to the A&E Department. She was diagnosed with an open tibial-fibular fracture with near amputation and multiple contusions. On examination, she had tachycardia (140 bpm), hypertension (178/90mmhg) and hyperventilation (28/m). Her GSC was 15 and a CT Scan of the head showed nothing relevant. An Aabove-Kknee amputation was performed on the same day. The Ppatient’s recovery in the hospital has been uneventful except for phantom limb pain and psychological distress. The wound has almost healed and the pain has decreased. Miss Ling has started ambulating with the help of a rolling walker for short distances. Her parents are supportive and will help with her ADLs after discharge. Her current medications include Neurontin 100 mg q8 h, Paracetamol Osteo 665 mg q8 h prn, Tramadol 100 mg nocte and Amitriptyline 100 mg tds. A review at the Trauma Clinic on 17/05/2019 has been arranged programmed. I would greatly appreciate it if you could monitor Miss Ling for signs of PTSD and arrange for a trauma focused CBT programme if required. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any additional information. Yours Ssincerely, Orthopedic Surgeon

Comments based on the Assessment Criteria Purpose (3 marks) The purpose needs to be stated in the introduction in more detail. Score 2 Content (7 marks) You have included all of the essential information. Score 7 Conciseness and Clarity (7 marks) The letter was easy to follow and concise. Score 7 Genre and Style (7 marks) You have used the correct register, making the letter appropriately formal. Be careful with capital letters. Score 6 Organisation & Layout (7 marks) The letter has been somewhat well organized overall. Score 5 Language (7 marks) The language is generally of a high standard. Score 6 Total Marks: 33 Your Score= 33/38 which converts to an overall score of a very strong B Marking Guide A: 35- B: 27- C+: 24- C: 19- D: 10- E : Below 10 Note, this is an approximate guide only, as the OET Centre does not provide full details of the marking criteria.