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Layal's Paradoxical Life: A Search for Autonomy and Freedom - Prof. Alison Sainsbury, Exams of Technical Writing

The complex life of layal, a woman living in iraq who balances her role as a curator and an artist with her life as a seductress. Despite her confidence and self-respect, layal is still searching for something more - autonomy and freedom. The document delves into layal's motivations, her relationships with men in power, and her longing for a loving and supportive partner.

Typology: Exams

2009/2010

Uploaded on 12/08/2010

nnesbit
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Nate Nesbit
Third World Women Speak!
“Deserted… in a void…and we are looking for something always…I think it’s light”
-Raffo, 9 Parts of Desire pg 7
Despite Layal’s almost palpably exuded confidence and self-respect she clearly is still
looking for something else though she can only guess at what that thing is. Despite the use of
“we” in the passage, she is referring to the only person she paints into her portraits which is
herself. In Layal’s paradoxically comfortable and brutal lifestyle she has found a balance that
allows her to survive and yet she is still bounded by the men around her.
Layal’s reluctance to leave Iraq despite having the means to leave and even a home in
London where she could live with her sister, she still chooses to stay in Iraq. In her first entry she
laughs off leaving Iraq because of her guilt at leaving Iraq and depriving her country of even its
artists. She also holds the lofty position as the curator of the Saddam Art Center which is
something that greatly values. She didn’t however gain this position through a long and highly
qualified resume rather; she gained her position through a set of loose morals and a desire to rise
above the rest. The affair that she had with Saddam’s cousin is what both elevated her to a rich
lifestyle and boxed her into the lowly status of essentially a sex slave.
Layal comments on how her desire and passion for sex and the fact that she’s “good at
being naked” allows her to enjoy both of these lifestyles. She wakes up in the morning and is
“hungry every morning like I have never eaten before.” She is willing to do anything to feel love,
she says. Here we see the first crack in Layal’s armor, is she speaking of physically making
love? Or is she speaking of loving someone in a more platonic way?
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Nate Nesbit Third World Women Speak! “Deserted… in a void…and we are looking for something always…I think it’s light” -Raffo, 9 Parts of Desire pg 7 Despite Layal’s almost palpably exuded confidence and self-respect she clearly is still looking for something else though she can only guess at what that thing is. Despite the use of “we” in the passage, she is referring to the only person she paints into her portraits which is herself. In Layal’s paradoxically comfortable and brutal lifestyle she has found a balance that allows her to survive and yet she is still bounded by the men around her. Layal’s reluctance to leave Iraq despite having the means to leave and even a home in London where she could live with her sister, she still chooses to stay in Iraq. In her first entry she laughs off leaving Iraq because of her guilt at leaving Iraq and depriving her country of even its artists. She also holds the lofty position as the curator of the Saddam Art Center which is something that greatly values. She didn’t however gain this position through a long and highly qualified resume rather; she gained her position through a set of loose morals and a desire to rise above the rest. The affair that she had with Saddam’s cousin is what both elevated her to a rich lifestyle and boxed her into the lowly status of essentially a sex slave. Layal comments on how her desire and passion for sex and the fact that she’s “good at being naked” allows her to enjoy both of these lifestyles. She wakes up in the morning and is “hungry every morning like I have never eaten before.” She is willing to do anything to feel love, she says. Here we see the first crack in Layal’s armor, is she speaking of physically making love? Or is she speaking of loving someone in a more platonic way?

If you look at the paintings that she does of other women’s experiences through a personal way of painting herself in, we see that she never condones the actions of those in power. When it comes down to it, she is even very reluctant to paint the mosaic of Saddam, Saddam from whom all her blessings flow. She enjoys the benefits of both of her lives, artist and seductress, but she doesn’t enjoy the constraints that they each place on her. As an artist she is regularly told what to paint so that only half of the work that she does is something of her own imagination. Within the realm of her life as a seductress she likens the sex that she has with the men in power to rape. Despite her hunger, desire and borderline addiction for sex, rape is a word that carries with it a negative connotation and Ruffo is far too careful a writer to have done this by accident. Layal has convinced herself that this is a marvelous lifestyle and that she enjoys all the perks of life without being forced to drink its bitter dregs. In her commentary about her life she regularly proclaims how wonderful and free she is. It slowly rises to the surface however that she is she is actually very scared about how trapped she feels. Layal does not know it but, she is looking for something more out of life. She is subconsciously looking for autonomy and freedom in each of her lives. The light that she speaks of in the highlighted passage is freedom. She understands deep down that the life she lives causes her to feel empty and worthless. She has used all the resources at her disposal to create a life in which she is comfortable, which is more than most Iraqi women, and yet she still feels worse than the dirt she walks on. Layal’s freedom lies in her finding a man that can love her as a wife and not as a lover. She deeply desires someone to love who she can choose to or not to make love to. She also desires a man who will allow her the freedom to do paint when and what she wants to. Layal has equated love to light in the nighttime of her life.