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Material Type: Paper; Professor: Salazar; Class: Counsel Theory & Tech; Subject: Counseling - COUN; University: Texas A & M University-Commerce; Term: Unknown 1998;
Typology: Papers
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COUN 510: 001 - Counseling Theories and Techniques Final Paper Texas A&M University-Commerce Date Student’s Name
Introduction Over the past semester I have often found myself comparing my life and views to each and every theory as we have studied it. I have almost always found a truth in each therapy that I can agree with. While I do not agree with the Oedipal complex of Freud’s theory, I see the childhood as crucial to defining who a person becomes. I am still undecided as to the importance of dreams, but do think the unconscious holds some scary truths for individuals. The ego, id and super ego offer reasonable insight into human nature. The defense mechanisms defined by Anna Freud can be used in combination with other theories to help clients see their truths. Reality therapy might address rationalization and help the client see that she or he is not admitting her or his responsibility in an issue. A student may say a teacher is unfair and a reality therapist would work to help him or her see that he or she chose not to study enough. So the theories are not exclusive of each other. I find many ideas that overlap. Adler places emphasis on the need for belonging, as does Reality Therapy. Adler places importance on the past and family constellation while Reality Therapy does not. Choice theory does admit that the past has everything to do with what we are today (Glasser 1998), but only focuses on the here and now. So after thinking about how theories overlap and feed into one another I have come to the conclusion that Choice Theory and Reality Therapy are most connected with my views of what counseling should be and offer to a client. In the process I have also adjusted some of my views and beliefs.
My values revisited Inherent value and values of people People are inherently good and have free will. The title of the theory that supports reality therapy, Choice Theory, implies the basic assumption that people have free will and the power to
meet that need for belonging by working with students to broaden their standards for acceptance. This could still focus on emphasizing successes of intellectual and personality nature. Education My original view that education is the means to a better life has been challenged. While I still believe that education is important I have been forced to look at what “a better life” is and the role that Glasser’s basic human needs play in achieving that goal. The need for power, efficacy and competence can be fulfilled via education, but education is not the only path. Competency in a skill can be learned through self discipline and that need for power fulfilled. What has had greater impact on changing my views is the importance of the need for belonging. Both Adler and Glasser see that sense of belonging as paramount to a client’s health. I had never looked at human nature strictly from that view. When I think that belonging is bigger than power I am forced to admit that I can see a low income, poorly educated person being happier and healthier than an outcast, introverted, high level executive that has no family or friends. While these may be the extremes, they definitely cause me to re-evaluate my perspective on the importance of education. I do believe that belonging is essential. I had just never examined it as a need in comparison to power. I support the idea that these needs vary for each individual, but I cannot neglect that a need for belonging is central in many theories and therapies. As a school counselor will always encourage students to pursue higher education levels, but now I will first address whether that need for belonging and connectedness is being met. This has been the biggest change in my perspective. Religion One’s spirituality is a choice. My religious beliefs are in line with CT and using CT will help individuals be more accepting of religious views that differ from their own. Everyone’s god
is personal and each person should have the right to choose his or her own form of worship and spirituality. It is very clear to me that perception and subjective experience are paramount in the world of religion. Beliefs are just that and should not be forced on anyone. I oppose the idea that a religion needs to “spread the word” and “save” other people. This very notion contradicts the ideas of CT and RT. Anyone that is convinced their religion is the only one suffers from a distorted reality and could benefit from a dose of RT. Central to RT is Glasser’s idea to take responsibility: “the ability to fulfill one’s needs and to do so in a away that does not deprive others of the ability to fulfill their needs” (Glasser, 1965). The nature of “bible thumping” is that of control. A person feels they can use external influence to change another’s religious views. CT and RT allow individuals the opportunity to make their own choice based on their own needs and perceptions without any pressure from external sources. This theory that lends to acceptance and mandates individual control would be counterintuitive to many religions but could help the world be a better place. Role of a counselor Some people choose not to make healthy choices in their lives and cannot be helped if they do not see the error in their ways. A person cannot be forced to change and if he or she is forced to attempt change, that effort will be futile unless the person truly wants to change. The above statement is an excerpt from my first worldviews paper and could not radiate Choice Theory any more if I tried. The above statement explains the attitude of a counselor using CT and RT. It is based on the premise that one can only control their own actions. And that force is useless in trying to change a client. It must be the client’s choice to change for counseling to be effective. “ Some people may need their
has not been met. They then find other ways for pleasure that represent as being dysfunctional. Instead of a loving relationship, their quality world may include sex, substance abuse or violence. Those that have no experience with loving parents would not place loving parents in their quality world. With this in mind I think that child abusers were often abused as children. Children who experience pain from those that are supposed to love them must have a very dim quality world. Connection and belonging are the most prominent of the basic needs. It reminds me of the poem “Children Learn What They Live,” (appendix A) to which I felt a strong connection as a young teenager. I think it has guided me to the education world as well as the counseling profession. And while it doesn’t speak directly to CT, it does speak to the idea of quality world that is essential to understanding choice theory. What children live becomes the basis for the development of their quality worlds. Control In examining control and its prevalence in society and my own life I have come to recognize it as a common occurrence that is never healthy to the individual. The fact that one can only control his or her own behavior is central to Choice Theory. On a personal level, I have become hypersensitive to those trying to exert control within my social circle. As numerous friends have become parents, I watch this cycle of the pregnant woman getting barraged with information from a mother in the group. But it appears that when a woman doesn’t take this “advice” the advisor’s feelings are hurt. It appears this advice is being given more as a mandate. If only she could see that giving information is ALL she can do. She cannot give it with the expectation the advisee’s behavior will be controlled. This same woman has marital problems
stemming from her desire to change her husband’s behavior. Having studied and seeing the value in CT, I am picking up on control in everyday life. One of the new moms in my social circle clearly stated she would be doing exactly the opposite as the woman who was pushing her views onto her. I see this battle for control everywhere. If everyone could take responsibility for their own actions and not try to control others, this world would be a much better place. Total Behavior Reality therapists believe that most clients are frustrated by an unsatisfying relationship and the undesirable behavior is a result of that frustration (Corey, 2001). This idea means that behavior is internally motivated by a need for belonging. It then follows that external forces used to change behavior are not very effective. To change behavior a person must choose to change her or his behavior. CT postulates that all behavior is made up of acting, thinking, feeling and physiology. Acting and thinking are chosen while feeling and physiology are a result of the acting and thinking. So whatever a person is doing and thinking is related directly to what she or he is feeling and how her or his body is reacting. Glasser believes that one’s acting and thinking leads to headaches or depression. This is a bold statement that many people will resist. Our culture is one that likes to place blame in places other than within. Glasser suggests that people take responsibility for their own feelings and physiology. He prefers to use action words that tend to put the onus on the individual. “He is depressing” means he is acting and thinking in a way that is causing him to be depressed. The word “depressed” in a Choice Theory world implies passivity and lack of responsibility. Our world is filled with people who would like to
If all schools focused on the connectedness of their students there might be huge strides made in academics. Most teachers focus on what a child is doing to succeed academically. If teachers were trained to understand the basic premise that belonging and connectedness is key, maybe students would be better prepared to function in the academic world. The power of belonging is well illustrated in a description of a cellist visiting a juvenile prison in LA. Following a rock band, his expectations were not high for a welcome reception from these boys. In short, after telling the audience of boys that the piece he was about to play reminded him of his mother and, playing beautifully, the room full of boys was in tears (Salzman, 2003). What moved these boys with rough exteriors - the need for belonging that is under all exteriors (Wubbolding, 2005). Nature of the relationship The counselor in RT is a teacher. The counselor works on changing awareness of responsibility and choice. There is no room for transference (Glasser, 1998). The counselor is not the client’s parent. Reality is the key to reality therapy; the client cannot escape into excuses. My personal style fits with that of a reality therapist. I am a teacher, pragmatist and a motivator. All of these will help in using CT and RT. The counselor teaches the client that he or she is responsible for his or her choices. The Reality therapist keeps things simple – bottom line is “you (client) are making a choice.” Having been a restaurant owner and manager as well as a junior high school teacher, I have always had to motivate people. Sometimes I have done this with humor, sometimes with reasoning, rarely with coercion, as it is least effective. This falls in line with RT. Coercion is not effective; clients have to choose their actions and
thinking. My style has always been “what is the most effective path to accomplish my goal?” This is what the client needs to learn. Excuses and blaming will only get in the way. The counselor uses a no nonsense, no excuses method. I am also one to challenge people with logical arguments to persuade their point of view. I am often told by colleagues I should go into politics because of my power of persuasion. My brother still remembers how I often did this as a child to get my way with our parents. The Reality Therapist needs to be actively confrontational, according to Day (2004). Day also states that tact, creativity and flexibility are qualities of an effective reality therapist. My customer service background in the restaurant business taught me tact with both employees and customers. It was very useful as I entered the teaching world. I was known for coming up with creative ideas for motivating and teaching staff development at my school as well. I am anxious to see how well I will “fit” with RT as I continue my counseling education. Not only do I agree and fit with the theory behind the therapy but think the therapy fits with my style and personality. Our world will be a better place if people would buy into the Choice Theory that coincides with RT.
Appendix A