interpersonal communication and self, Study notes of Social Work

Download interpersonal communication and self and more Study notes Social Work in PDF only on Docsity!

Communications and self concepts

Self-concept the relatively stable set of perceptions that you hold of yourself Your emotional state, special talents, likes/dislikes, values,roles Self esteem evaluations of self-worth how one feels about one’s self worth At 6-7 months, infants recognize “self” as distinct from surroundings “The foot is me”. “The hand is me” are first revelations to form child’s earliest self-concept Reflected appraisal A mirroring of the judgment of other people part of how the self-concept develops Receive support = appreciate and value yourself Receive critical signals = feel less valuable, lovable and capable Significant other A person who is opinion is important enough to affect one’s self concept strongly A message from parents are an early and important influence on the self-concept Supportive parents = children with stable self-concepts and high self-esteem “Fat talk” = eating disorders or body image issues Teachers, friends,romantic partners, and even some acquaintances can leave an imprint on how you view yourself Social comparison evaluating oneself in terms of or by comparison to others Reference groups which we compare ourselves there by influencing our self-concept and self-esteem “can control” Inappropriate reference group = woman who compare themselves to ultra thin models = eating disorders and negative appraisals on their body Characteristics of the self-concept “Foggy mirror” they see them more positive than others do In a study of more than 800,000 people ranked if they get along with others 60% said they belong in the 10% of getting along with others 25% said they are in the 1% Self- evaluations can be distorted due to Obsolete information: The effects of past failures in school or social relations can linger long after they have occurred Distorted feedback: the remarks of overly critical parent school classmates, uncaring teachers, excessively demanding employees,rude strangers can have a lasting effect Perfectionism: from the time most of us learn to understand language we are exposed to models who appear to be perfect Social expectations: you probably want to be seen as successful but awful humble there is often a trade off between self-promotion and modesty A healthy self-concept is flexible Relaxed conversationalist with friends or shy around strangers Shy people can turn into outgoing adults Moody teenagers can become upbeat professionals A healthy self-concept is multifaceted Your genuine kindness might represent a large facet when under stress or treated badly your unkind Cognitive conservationism is a phenomenon on how you may resist revisiting it and even seek out people who confirm how you see yourself The tendency to cling to an outmoded self- perception holds even when the new image would be more favorable Some people have difficulty receiving and believing complement about who they have become If need a new self-concept you would need to surround yourself with significant others who offer you accurate affirming messages about who you are and who you’re becoming Self- fufilling prophecy is the casual relationship that occurs when a persons expectations of an event and her or his subsequent behavior based on these expectations make the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true

1. Holding an expectation for yourself or for others
2. behaving in accordance with that expectation
3. The expectation coming to pass
4. reinforcing the original expectation Types of self-fulfilling prophecies
5. your own expectations can influence your behavior (self-imposed)
6. One person expressed expectations can affect another’s behavior (other-imposed) The observer must communicate that belief verbally or nonverbally for the prediction to have an effect

Disclosing the self

The nature of self- disclosure

1. honesty Doesn’t require to reveal everything at once 2)revelatory Disclosing information that wont be known
2. availability of information Self-disclosing messages that other person doesn’t already know
3. context of sharing Sometimes the self disclosing nature of a statement comes from the setting in which is uttered Characteristics of self disclosure
4. intentional
5. has self as subject
6. redirected
7. honest
8. revelatory
9. unavailable information from sources
10. gains intimate nature from context when informed Self-discourse = The process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and would not normally be known by others Degrees of self-disclosure Social penetration model a model that describes relationships and terms of their breadth and deph the breadth of information volunteered the range of information discussed A relationship can be casual or intimate Casual = great but not in depth More Intimate = high depth in one area Most intimate = discourse is great in both breadth and depth Clichés are ritualized and can serve as a valuable that keeps social media interested Facts = intensional, significant, personal, and not otherwise known Opinions can often reveal more about a person than facts alone do Feelings is the most revealing The johair window model Johari window a model that describes the relationship between self-discourse and self-awareness Created by Joesph Luft and harry Ingham Open area (Part 1) represents the information of which both you and the other person are aware Blind area (Part 2) information that you are unaware of but that other person knows Learn the information from feedback from others Hidden area (Part 3) information that you know but aren’t willing to reveal to others Items become public through self-disclosure Unknown (part 4) neither you and others know You can deduce its existence because you’re constantly discovering new things about yourself Benefits of self-disclosure Catharsis Can indeed relieve the burden of pent- up emotions whether face-to-face or online The results may not be good (get off chest) Self clarification talk about your beliefs, opinions, attitude and feelings with another person to clarify them (occurs in psychotherapy and in other relationships like hairstylist and friends) Self validation you are seeking validation of your behavior confirming; A belief you heard about yourself Reciprocity A well documented conclusion from research is that one persons act of the disclosure increases the odds that the other person will reveal personal information Impression formation sometimes people reveal personal information to make themselves more attractive Relationship maintenance and enhancement people who disclose personal information are perceived to be more likable. A relationship between Self disclosure and liking works in several different ways Moral obligation we disclose personal information believing that it’s our duty to do so (sometimes) Risks of self-disclosure Rejection Negative impression (^) Decrease in relation satisfaction Loss of influence Loss of control and hurting the other person

Guidelines for self-disclosure

Other person important? Is the risk reasonable? Calculate the benefits against the risks Sharing feelings with someone may betray your confidence or ridicule them Is it appropriate? Not wise to put personal secrets on social media It is possible to withhold too much information Is disclosure reciprocated? Unequal self-disclosure creates an unbalanced relationship with potential problems Will the effect be constructive? Self-disclosure can be a vicious tool if not used carefully Some topics can be sensitive and devastating Alternative to self-disclosures Silence Keep thoughts and feeling to yourself Withholding information is a better alternative than lying or engaging in deception Is useful when you are thinking negatively Lie A deliberate attempt to hide or misrepresent the truth Gain unfair advantage over an unknowing victim Benevolent lie(common) = a lie that is not considered malicious by th person who tells Forms of Misdemeanor lying TABLE 4.1 Some Reasons for Lying Reason Example Save face for others “Don’t worry—I’m sure nobody noticed that stain on your shirt.” Save face for self “I wasn’t looking at the files—I was accidentally in the wrong drawer.” Acquire resources “Oh, please let me add this class. If I don’t get in, I’ll never graduate on time!” Protect resources “I’d like to lend you the money, but I’m short myself.” Initiate interaction “Excuse me, I’m lost. Do you live around here?” Be socially gracious “No, I’m not bored—tell me more about your vacation.” Avoid conflict “It’s not a big deal. We can do it your way. Really.” Avoid interaction “That sounds like fun, but I’m busy Saturday night.” Take leave “Oh, look what time it is! I’ve got to run!” Present a competent image “Sure I understand. No problem.” Increase social desirability “Yeah, I’ve done a fair amount of skiing.” Equivocation = a statement that is not false but clearly avoid an unpleasant truth Hinting More direct than equivocal statements Equivocal messages is not aimed to change another’s behavior Seeks to get the desired response from the other person Designed to save the receiver from embarrassment Less concerned with protecting the receiver than saving the sender from embarrassment Direct Statement Face-Saving Hint You have already eaten a lot; why don’t you skip dessert. These desserts are really overpriced. I’m too busy to keep talking to you. I know you’re busy; I’d better let you go. Direct Statement Face-Saving Hint Please don’t vape near me. I’m not sure vaping is permitted here. Please come out to lunch with me. It’s almost time for lunch. Have you ever eaten at that new restaurant around the corner? Ethics of evasion Can be viewed as lacking either the competence or the integrity to handle a situation effectively Reveal too much information (T.M.I) Ethicist Sissela bok offers some circumstances where deception may be justified: doing good, avoiding harm, and protecting a larger truth