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Lesson 10 HANDLING PERSONAL ISSUES
Self-Defeating Behaviour
In today’s increasingly complex social and economic environment, most people have to overcome personal behaviour as they influence their personal and work life. When personal problems are under control, care prospects improve. Personal satisfaction improves.There are many sources of personal problems and these sources need to be identified for their effective solutions and also to avoid such problems in future. The professional success is greatly influenced by personal problem, the issues and situations. Most personal problems are usually the creation of your own. They emerge through self-defeating attitudes and behaviours.
Self-Defeating Attitude
Self-defeating attitude is a tendency to act in such a way that one’s behaviour works against his/her own interests, either intentionally or unintentionally. Feelings of helpless and apathetic attitude are examples. Such attitudes kill initiative and action.
Why engage in self-defeating attitude
The major factor behind self-defeating attitude and behavior is a negative thinking. Some people act towards damaging their careers and falling short of their potentials. They create problems. The simplest explanation for self-defeating behavior is that some people suffer from personal attributes that promote self-defeating or self-damage. Self-defeating is a kind of belief that put people on the path of self-damaging. If a person attains an erroneous belief, it will create conditions for failure. For example, perceiving a wrong reason for a problem can result in self-defeating tendency. Give ‘isolation’ as an example. A negative and self-defeating attitude destroys all hope of career success. A positive and proactive attitude guarantees that.
Self-defeating behaviours Defensiveness Unrealistic expectations Fear of stating ones point of view Fear of intimacy Negative attitude Fear of commitment Fear of expressing deep feelings Fear of rejection Inability to say “no” Extreme nervousness Disorganization Fear of taking a test Waste time Fear of death Poor Planning Excessive daydreaming Forgetfulness People pleasing Fear of being oneself Fear of success Excessive guilt Unrealistic mistrust Losing temper Alienation from others
Positive attitude A positive attitude gives you the power and confidence to approach every situation with the expectation that you will ultimately find the right thing to do -- and then do it. If a person starts enjoying isolation, it will be self-defeating
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Your ATTITUDE, enthusiasm and self-confidence is critical to personal and professional success. A winning attitude energizes your mission, transforming raw potential into power. Believe in yourself and your power.
- Attitude
- Enthusiasm
- Self-Confidence
- Future Success isn't Limited by Past Failures
Because you have the deep-seated belief that you can achieve anything you want, an endless series of possibilities open up for you -- creating real opportunities for advancement.
Future success isn't limited by past failures -- but by your willingness to take the right actions -- right now.
Strategies to overcome Self-Defeating:
1. Examine Yourself and Make the Necessary Changes: A good starting point in attitude analysis is to look for patterns in one’s setbacks or failures. People can change attitudes and behaviours. 2. Stop Blaming Others for Your Problems and Cursing Fate: Projecting blame onto others is self- defeating because doing so relieves a person from most of the responsibility for his or her setbacks and failures. When things go wrong, instead of cursing fate, fight back and create your own destiny. 3. Solicit Feedback on Your Actions: Feedback is essential for monitoring whether a person is sabotaging his or her career or personal life. Listening to spontaneous comments and soliciting feedback are both effective. 4. Learn from Criticism: To ignore valid criticism can be self-defeating. Suggestions for benefiting from criticism include: (1) See yourself at a distance; (2) Ask for clarification and specifics; (3) Decide on a response (for example, apologize to or thank the criticizer). 5. Stop Denying the Existence of Problems: Many people sabotage their careers because they deny the existence of a problem, and therefore do not take appropriate action. Denial hides a painful reality. 6. Visualize Self-Enhancing Behavior: To apply visualization, the person programs himself or herself to overcome self-defeating actions and behaviors. The person then visualizes coming out a winner in a challenging situation.
Positive attitude to tackle personal problems Expect success rather than fear failure.
Focus on solutions rather than remain stuck in the problem.
Speak and act with enthusiasm.
Enjoy life with a positive attitude and a passion for the future.
Gain the surge of energy that accompanies a positive mental attitude.
Lift up the spirits and inspire others when they are down.
Overcome obstacles or defeat with a renewed positive attitude.
Say “YES to each new challenge as it presents itself.
You learn from error and defeat
Think like an employer.
Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
Personal well-being
Lack of personal well-being is an important personal problem people usually face. Here personal well- being refers to mental and social adjustment/comfort. Harmonious social relations promote personal well- being.
In other words, harmonious social relations enhance your mental energy. It also keeps you healthy both physically and mentally.
Common Personal Problems
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Disturbed emotions and brain malfunctioning can interfere with handling some aspects of job responsibilities well.
1. Depression
Depression is a widespread emotional disorder. The condition can drain energy and reduce productivity and quality. As effectiveness decreases, the person’s thinking, acting, and feeling become more damaged. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a form of depression that develops during the hot and humid season and disappears as the weather becomes pleasant.
2. General Anxiety
Continuous worry about real and imagined problems to the point of negative functioning affects significant proportion of population (an estimated 13 percent of the population). Anxiety is a feeling of distress or uneasiness caused by fear of an imagined problem.
3. Neurobiological Disorders Personal problems on the job are often the result of neurobiological disorders, a quirk in the chemistry or anatomy of the brain that creates a disability. The disabilities take the form of reduced ability to control one’s behavior, movements, emotions, or thoughts.
Attention Deficit Disorder: People with this disorder (ADD) have difficulty concentrating that may be accompanied by hyperactivity. High achieving adults with ADD often work extremely long hours, jumping from one project to another. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: People with this disorder (OCD) have uncontrollable and recurring thoughts or behavior relating to an unreasonable fear. Narcolepsy: People with this disorder have uncontrollable sleepiness, even after receiving adequate sleep. Neurobiological disorders can be treated successfully with medication and a supportive environment at home and on the job.
F. DEALING WITH ANGER
Limited ability to deal with anger damages the career and personal life of many people. Anger is a feeling of extreme hostility or displeasure. Anger creates stress and results in physiological changes such as enlarged pupils, and a flushed face. Workplace violence usually stems from anger. The ability to manage anger is an important interpersonal skill, now considered to be part of emotional intelligence.
To manage anger, keep in mind the following: (1) Anger can be an energizing force, and therefore constructive if properly channeled. (2) Express your anger before it reaches a high intensity. (3) As you are about to express anger, slow down. (4) Ask for feedback about how well you are expressing your anger.
The problem of anger has become widespread. You can watch aggressive scenes on roads, in schools, at home, and other places.
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