GenderBoxesexerciseoriginallycreatedbytheOaklandMen’sProject 1
Gender Role Boxes
Presentation and Discussion
This exercise can be a lead-in for discussion around multiple issues. The facilitator could
concentrate on sexism and its relationship to domestic and sexual violence or use the exercise to
look at how sexism, heterosexism and transphobia are related to one another.
Also explain that while we are looking at the dominant mainstream ideas of gender we want to
acknowledge that gender roles may vary depending on ethnicity, culture, class, ability and family
etc. Let participants know that in this exercise we are going to ask them to say words that are
offensive to some people.
Draw two boxes on the board.
"Act Like a Man" Box
1. Ask if anyone has ever been told or heard someone being told to “act like a
man”. Write “Act like a man” on top of the first box. Ask “what does it mean
to “act like a man” – what are the expectations (which may not be the reality).
Participants can be invited to come to the board and fill in the boxes or you can do it as a
brainstorm. Participants can also do the handout as individuals or in pairs/small groups
first. Remember that this exercise seeks to look at stereotypes, not at individual behavior.
How are men supposed to be different from women? - stronger, tougher, in control
What feelings is a "real man" supposed to have?- anger, superiority, confidence
How do "real men" express their feelings?- yelling, fighting, silence
How are "real men" supposed to act sexually?- aggressive, dominant, with women
2. What are names applied to persons outside the box? (write these outside the box
and around the box)
Wimp, fag, queer, pussy, gay
Note: These words are important to say and to write down, but ask participants to answer
this question calmly and respectfully as possible.
3. What things happen physically to people outside the box? (write these outside the
box and around the box)
Fights, beat up, harassed, teased, abused, ignored
"Act Like a Lady" Box
1. 1. Ask if anyone has ever been told or heard someone being told to “act like a
lady”. Write “Act like a lady” on top of the second box. Ask “what does it mean to
“act like a lady” – what are the expectations (which may not be the reality).
