Growing Old: Insights from Folk Humor and Language, Slides of Sociology

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What Folk Humor and Language have

Taught the Nilsens about Growing Old

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First, We Learned There Are

Many Facets to What Really Is a

Challenge, e.g.

Growing old as a man

is different from

Growing old as a woman

and

Growing old in a primitive culture

is different from

Growing old in a capitalistic society

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Don was more pleased at the

the male part of the proverb.

He thought about

the Afghan phrase

“Safid riche,” which

is a term of respect

for a “white beard,”

that is, someone

able to give

“grandfatherly

advice.”

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Alleen Came Home From Afghanistan a Confirmed Feminist

• But when we returned to the University of Michigan, the “real” feminists in 1970s Ann Arbor frightened her so much that she decided to study sexism in the dictionary rather than in life.
• She thought she could study language without having to get involved in social issues.
• But one of her first dictionary discoveries was that the contrasting American terms of Grandfatherly advice and Old wives’ tales send the same message as does the Afghan proverb.

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She

…Gave birth to ten children.

…In effect, was a single mother because her

husband was out of town teaching school.

…Never had running water or electricity.

…Was a community leader, instrumental in

founding the PTA in both Navajo and Apache Counties.

…Made sure that four of her five daughters

graduated from college and had successful teaching and family careers.

When Alleen’s father came to her 48th^ birthday party, he sadly observed that his mother died when she was 48, “and she was an old woman.”

It was a big surprise for Alleen to discover that language and social issues are intimately connected.

• And now that she has lived with this surprise for

more than 40 years, she has observed some interesting connections that the English language reveals about the different attitudes that we have regarding growing old as a man and growing old as a woman.

• Some of the revealed prejudices are against

females of any age, but they are stronger when the target is old and so they are more obvious.

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• Rick Riordan’s Percy and the Olympians books , are filled with mythical creatures all illustrating immortality.
• In the Harry Potter books, Lord Voldemort (whose name means something like “Running from Death”) is trying to gather up the seven parts of his soul planted as Horcruxes, in the hope that he can live forever.
• One of the reasons Alleen is depressed by the success of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books is that Bella repeatedly tortures herself—and readers—by obsessing on the awfulness of her growing old while Edward (the vampire) will stay in his beautiful and perfect 17-year-old body. Bella would rather give up her soul and become a vampire than grow old.
• The Twilight books depress Don because Edward is so “perfect” that as a male Don could never compete. 10

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To Keep from Being Reminded

of Death, We...

• Illogically avoid calling someone old, and instead say they are older, elderly, or grandmotherly.
• Refer to old people as seniors or senior citizens, who are living their golden years —not in old folks’ homes, but in assisted living or retirement communities.
• Give retirement communities such names as Sun City, Leisure World, Green Valley, Golden Hills and Friendship Village.
• Instead of saying someone has died, we say the person has passed away, crossed over, or gone to join a loved one.

We make jokes about growing old to console

ourselves that we aren’t the only ones.

We like to, at least, try to keep up

with our grandchildren.

Consider these jokes based on General Douglas MacArthur’s response to being fired by President Eisenhower:

• Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
• Old teachers never die; they just lose their

principles.

• Old athletes never die; they just lose their

supporters.

• Old robbers never die; they just steal away.
• Old editors never quit, they just write away.
• Old blondes never fade; they just dye away.
• Old deans never die; they just lose their

faculties. (^16)

But back to the differences in

attitudes toward aging in females

and males.

• In relation to the question of whether women should be given the right to vote, Mark Twain remarked that it was a moot point because women would never give their age.
• When our local legislature changed a law about drivers’ licenses, the Arizona Republic ran the story under the headline, “No longer a felony for women to lie about their age.”
• Years ago when Gloria Steinem turned 40, the media made a big deal about it. She responded with something like, “Yes, I’m forty and this is what 40 looks like….If all women would be honest about their ages, people wouldn’t be so surprised.” 17

• We see something similar with cats. Parents used to

name little girls, Kitty, and encourage them to act

kittenish. Older girls were more likely to become

catty, and to engage in cat fights or live in cat

houses.

• Puss, an alternate name for cats (and vaginas), is

cognate with pouch and purse. Its connection to

sexuality was shown in one of the James Bond films

about Pussy Galore and Her Flying Felines.

• The most recent cat-related term to come into

general use is the word cougar for an older woman

who goes “ prowling for young men.” Whether

cougar is a positive or a negative term differs

depending on one’s point of view.

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Males Aspire to Adulthood While Females Cling to Youth.

• Boy Scout leaders address 12-year-olds as Men,

while 50-year-old exercise instructors address their

50-year old participants as Girls.

• Black male teenagers address each other as Man!

while black teenage girls address each other as Girl!

Women’s cosmetics are marketed under such names

as Cover Girl and Breck Girl.

• Mother-daughter look-alikes are often featured in

advertisements and illustrations. A mother is

flattered to be mistaken as her daughter but a father

does not want to be mistaken as his son.