280341586 oregairu volume 1, Thesis of Architecture

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Prologue - Looking back on High School life

Looking Back On High School Life

Hikigaya Hachiman Grade 11, Class F

Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil.

Those of you, who rejoice in youth, are perpetually deceiving yourselves and those around you. You perceive everything about the reality surrounding you in a positive light. Even if you make a life-threatening mistake, it would still be seen as proof of your youth- etched into a single page of your recollections.

I’ll give you an example. If such people are to dabble in criminal acts such as shoplifting or mass rioting, it would be called ‘youthful indiscretion’. If they fail an exam, they would claim that school is not only a place for studying. So long as they are in the face of ‘youth’, they’ll be showcasing a distortion of any commonly held beliefs or social norms.

Under their discretion, lies, secrets, crimes and even failure are nothing but the spice of one’s youth. And in their corrupt ways, they discover something peculiar about failure. They conclude that while their own failures are generally a part of relishing in youth, others’ failures should be shot down as just failures and nothing more.

If failure could be seen as proof of one's youth, wouldn’t it be strange not to consider those who fail to make friends as experiencing the height of their youth? Of course, they wouldn’t acknowledge it.

It amounts to nothing. The whole thing is nothing but a result of their opportunism. Therefore, it is a sham. Full of lies, deception, secrets and fraud that ought to be condemned.

They are evil.

That is to say, ironic as it is, those who do not glorify their youth are the truly righteous ones.

In conclusion, Riajuu[1], go blow yourselves up.

Chapter 1 - In any case, Hikigaya Hachiman is corrupt

My Japanese teacher, Shizuka Hiratsuka, popped a vein as she read my essay aloud. As I listened, I realized that my writing skills were far from proficient. I thought I might seem smart if I strung some fancy words together, but it just came off like a cheap tactic some struggling writer would think of.

That said- is my amateurish essay the reason she called me? That couldn't be it. I knew that already. After Hiratsuka sensei had finished reading, she put a hand on her forehead and sighed deeply.

"Say, Hikigaya, what was the assignment that I handed out during class?"

"……well, it was an essay with the topic ‘Looking Back on High School Life’."

"Exactly. So then why did you write a threat letter[1]? Are you a terrorist? Or perhaps, an idiot?"

She let out another sigh and pulled a hand through her hair, vexed[2].

Now that I think about it, using the word mistress instead of 'female teacher' makes it

sound more erotic[3]. Then, just as I was grinning to myself while thinking about those things, a bundle of paper struck my head.

"Pay attention!"

"Yes."

"Your eyes, they’re like the eyes of a rotting fish."

"Do they really seem that rich in omega-3? Makes me sound smart."

The corners of her mouth twitched upwards.

"Hikigaya. What is with this tasteless essay? I'd at least like to hear some sort of reason." Her eyes flashed, shooting daggers at me, with a scowl deadly enough to make a sound. Only a woman cursed by beauty was capable of an expression so alarmingly powerful that it would unwillingly draw you in and completely overwhelm you. That is to say, it was seriously scary.

Seven Stars[4] and tapped its filter hard against her desk. Just like how some old guy would do. After packing the tobacco, she clicked a 100-yen lighter and lit her cigarette. She took a drag and considered me with a serious look on her face.

"You're not in any clubs, right?"

"Right."

"……Do you have any friends?"

She asked me like she had already assumed I didn't have any.

"Well, I- I'll have you know that I live by the virtue of impartiality, and as such, am unable to have particularly intimate relationships with people!"

"In other words, you don’t have any, right?"

"W-well, basically…"

As though she knew how I would reply, Hiratsuka sensei's face brimmed with excitement.

"So that's how it is! You really don't have any friends! Exactly as I had diagnosed. Just one look at those lifeless eyes and I knew straight away!"

So you figured it out just by looking at my eyes? Then, don't bother asking me.

She nodded her head knowingly with a 'mhmm...yes' and considered me with a reserved expression.

"…………What about a girlfriend or something?"

What's with the 'something'? What would you do if I said I had a boyfriend?

"Well I don't have one right now..."

Considering any hopes for the future, I emphasised ‘now’, just in case.

"I see......"

This time she gazed at me intensely, with misty eyes. I really hoped it was because of the cigarette smoke irritating her eyes.

Hey, stop that. Don't pity me with that soft gaze.

In any case, where are all these questions going? Is Hiratsuka sensei one of those enthusiastic teachers?

Is she going to be talking about how I'm that one rotten apple that spoils the barrel, soon?

Perhaps she was once a delinquent high school drop out, who's now going to go back

to her old high school to be a teacher?[5]......Seriously, can’t she just go back there?

After some consideration, Hiratsuka sensei sighed as she exhaled a puff of smoke.

"All right, let's do it this way. Rewrite your report."

"Yes."

And I definitely will.

All right, this time I'll write a highly appropriate, inoffensive composition. Much like the blogs of gravure idols and voice actresses.

Something like: Today's dinner was like……, curry!

What's with using 'like'? There's nothing about that word that adds to the surprise of eating curry.

Up until this point everything had gone as I expected. But what followed this was more than I had imagined.

"However, the fact remains that your heartless words and behavior have hurt my feelings. Were you never taught not to talk to a woman about her age? As a result, you are required to join the service club. After all, wrongdoings must be punished."

She didn't seem very hurt, so much so that she sounded commanding. Rather, she was more perky than usual, speaking in a cheerful manner.

In saying that, the word perky[6] inadvertently reminds me of something else……my eyes averted from reality and ended up settling on sensei's breasts pushing up from underneath her blouse.

The school building at Chiba Municipal Soubu High School has a slightly irregular shape. If you look down at it from above, it looks just like the kanji for mouth (口) and a lot like the katakana for (ロ). Add the little audio-visual building at the bottom, and it would complete the bird’s eye view of our school. The building that contains the classrooms is on the side of the road and lies opposite to the special building. A passageway on the second floor links the two buildings, forming the square shape.

The space enclosed by the school building in all four directions is the holy courtyard

for the riajuu[1]. During lunchtime, both boys and girls eat lunch there together. Then, they play badminton to help digest. After school, with the last light of the sunset on the school building as a backdrop, they talk about love and watch the stars as a salty sea breeze blows over them.

Are you kidding me?

From an outsider’s perspective, it looks like they’re actors in a youth drama trying their best to play their respective roles. The thought can only make me shudder. In such a drama, I’d probably play the ‘tree’ or something.

As Hiratsuka sensei click-clacked on the linoleum floor, it seemed as though she was headed toward the special building.

I have a bad feeling about this.

For starters, something called the 'service club' can't be any good. The word 'service' here wouldn't be used in an everyday situation; rather the use of this term would only be permitted in a restrictive sense. Like, for example, when referring to the kind of

service a maid provides for her master[2]. If it was this kind of 'service', it’d be a real

turn on and you’d really want to go 'Letsu Party!'[3].

But in reality, such a thing wouldn't happen. No, actually, if you pay a set price it would be possible. And if money can buy anything you want, even this kind of thing, then I don't have any dreams or aspirations in such a rotten world. In any case, 'service' isn’t something good.

What's more, we had already reached the special building. I'll definitely have to do stuff like move the piano from the music room, clean out the raw scraps from the

biology lab or sort out the books in the library or something along those lines. In that case, I'll have to take precautions in advance.

“I have this chronic disease in my lower back……which is, her…her…herpes? Yeah, that's it……”

“I think you're referring to hernia. However, there's no need for your worry. What I'm asking you to do is not manual labor.” Hiratsuka sensei regarded me with an exceedingly contemptuous expression.

Well then. Is it research, or some other kind of deskwork? That kind of work means a mindless job that's more intense than manual labor. It's similar to the torture of filling a hole in the ground, only to dig it out again.

“I have this illness where I die upon entering a classroom.”

“What long-nosed sniper does that remind me of? The one from the Straw Hat

Pirates?[4]”

So you read shounen manga?

Well, I don't mind laboriously doing work by myself. If I flip a switch in my mind, making it clear that I am a machine, there would be no problem. And in the end, I

would pursue a mechanical body only to become a bolt.[5]

“We're here.”

The classroom sensei had stopped in front of was not unusual. There was nothing written on the doorplate. As I was staring at it in wonder, sensei opened the sliding door with a clatter. There were chairs and tables piled up in cluttered stacks along the edge.

Perhaps it was being used as a storage room. In comparison to other classrooms, there was nothing else special about its contents apart from that. It was an exceedingly normal classroom. However, what was most obviously distinct from everything else in the room, was a single girl.

By the light of the sunset, she was reading a book. Even if the world had ended, she would still most certainly be sitting there, reading. That was the illusion she gave, so much so, that it was like a scene from a painting.

“This is Hikigaya. He's looking to join the club.”

Prompted by Hiratsuka sensei, I nodded in acknowledgement. At this point it's probably time to segue into a self-introduction.

“I'm Hikigaya Hachiman - Grade 11, Class F. Um…Hey…What do you mean by join?” Looking to join what? Join this club?

Sensei began to talk. Had she already guessed what I was going to say?

“You must engage in this club's activities as a penalty. I won't allow any disagreement, objection, protest, questions or retorts. Cool down for a bit. Reflect on your actions!” Without allowing me any room to protest, she declared her verdict with great resolution. “With that being said, you can probably tell by looking, but his heart is considerably corrupt. As a result, he's a pitiable, lonely person.”

So you really can tell by just looking?

Sensei turned to face Yukinoshita and said, “If he could learn how to be sociable he might just clean up his act a little. Can I leave him to you? I'm requesting that you straighten out his corrupt, reclusive disposition.”

“If that's how it is, I think it would be a good idea if you beat and kick discipline into him,” Yukinoshita replied grudgingly.

……What a scary woman.

“I would if it was something I could do, but lately I’ve been having some problems myself. Also, physical violence isn't permitted.”

…It's like she's saying psychological violence is completely okay.

“I respectfully decline. That boy's lecherous eyes are filled with hidden intent that makes me feel that my life is in danger.” Yukinoshita set about readjusting her collar, which was not particularly out of place to begin with, and glared at me.

I'm not looking at that extremely modest chest of yours……Wait, am I? No, no I'm not, I'm really not looking. It just entered my line of sight for a bit and I was momentarily distracted.

“Don't worry, Yukinoshita. Since his eyes and heart are both corrupt, he is quite adept at self-preservation and calculating the trade-off between the benefits and risks of

doing something. He would never do something that would result in a criminal charge. You can trust his petty thug nature.”

“That's not a compliment at all…Aren't you mistaken? It's not about self-preservation and analyzing risk-benefits, I'd rather you just say that I'm capable of making sensible judgements.”

“A petty thug…..I see……,” Yukinoshita said.

“You're not even listening to me and you ended up agreeing with her…”

Was Hiratsuka sensei successful in persuading her or did my petty thug nature win her trust? No matter which way it was, Yukinoshita had come to see me as everything I didn't want to be seen as.

“Well, if it's a request from sensei, I can't very well refuse……I accept.” Yukinoshita said with incredible distaste.

Sensei smiled with satisfaction. “Okay. Then, I'll leave the rest to you.” And with that, she left the room with haste.

I was left standing there alone.